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Inside the Mind Of a Twisted Teen
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| Thursday, November 13th, 2003 |
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why is it that no matter how hard i try, the answer never comes? i'd ask you these questions, but I have little strength screaming doesnt help when your not listening photos wouldnt help me, you cant bare to see -Chorus- look at me, i want you to see that i am right, but i wont make you i cant help unless you want this from me a million words could never touch you, i just want you to be alright Your still young and want to have your fun But 'fun' has its limits too. Some things you do wont ever ecsape you thoes conciquences will forever linger over your head im hoping that soon this will be over, watch this fade red if you feel this is too much to take, wipe it away like all the reality you cant face take this down like the little white pill you call 'peace' fall to the pillow and dont forget to breathe escape for some time and it will slowly come back in the morning Do you ever think theres room for change? When your ready, you know where to find my face I'm ready to give you space and let you find your own way to recovery In the end, when all is said and done, please come back home. |
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3 Choked |
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Your hands are at my throat and I cant seem to breathe The test of life is rushing toward me The results are far to overwhelming Why dont you just trust me? Yesterday is nothing except the past Are you doing to kill tomorrow and hope for the best? Why are you always running so fast? Please do yourself a favor and Just accept the present Bow to this beauty of trust, go on, take off your mask Expose the face that has hidden all these years I know it burn, the light is painful apon your face Lean toward me, drown in my embrace Choke on the lies that I fed to you, You took down your walls and I betrayed you How does it feel to know that your a sucker for a show? Your in debt with knowledge, theres so much you dont know... Which causes you yo fall victim to my childish games Sucking the life from you helps keep me sane "HOW DO THESE WORDS FALL FROM YOUR MOUTH AND CUT ME SO DEEP?!!!" In my reply, I'm the dark princess of pain and you will never defeat me |
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| Swallow the Knife | ||||||||
| Sunday, November 9th, 2003 |
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Alright these are 2 different pieces of different lyrics. All of a sudden I am the one you forgot about when months ago, I was all that you needed. A friend isn't a true friend. Ill keep these thoughts of you deep inside my black heart and wait for the day of revenge will then follow thru. With the pain and damage you left me behind. I will reconstruct and destroy you. Blood drains from my soul for you; only for you. When all hell brakes loose, I will be the one on top and you choke below me. You will be less than one. Equal to none. You're better off dead. ---------------------------------------- \/ Written By Becki \/ i dont even know whats going on anymore trying to read you and understand myself is makin my head sore how do i always end up in situations like these? how come, just for once, you cant be the one who falls to their knees? emotions run so high, no matter how tall i get i cant seem to reach up and pull them down im goin crazy, hearin things what were never said. shh.. listen to the sound seeing things that arent there and miss things that are crystal clear i cant pull all this weight by myself, im ready to leave it if it were only that easy to let go and forget but im only human and pain is only natural to feel you cant ever help anything. just take off that mask. i wanna see whats real **PEACE** Becki & Adri |
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| Swallow the Knife | ||||||||
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WOW! I havent updated this mother fucker in so long... Ive got lots of lyrics for you kiddies. If you care to read them :) Read and Tell me what you think :)! ---------------------------------------- if given the chance, i'd probably leave it. is that ok? will you still love me if i say no? or will you run like the wind and scream 'i told you so'? im afraid and i think you sense that if so, how come you never came to my rescue? how come you didnt reach for me when i began to slip? do u care one bit? is there anything i can do to change the past? lets build a time machine and go back to the day when i never knew you existed but if we went back, do u think time would repeat its self and we'd end up here again? we're we just a mistake waiting to happen? am i a fish wanting to drown? a bear longing to get lost in the woods? how do u see these things in your mind? if i dug deep inside, could you ever begin to realize? the pain that lingers in these shadows and the heart ache that builds when things get low how can i breath, when u have a tight grip on my lungs with no sign of ever letting go. -Becki |
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| Swallow the Knife | ||||||
| Tuesday, July 29th, 2003 |
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Mommy, Daddy, Big brother and sister The baby of the family, u couldn?t miss her Such a nice little girl un till high school Sissy moves out, starts a family of her own Mommy and daddy somehow fade from the picture shown Big brother knocked up his girl, 6 months along Somehow things just all went wrong And you never thought it?d happen, yeah I know Never thought ?miss innocent? was such a freak show Of course you didn?t, your not about to admit it Someones gotta take the blame Your ?baby girl? isnt such a ?doll? anymore In fact the precious thing u call ur daugher is drinkin smokin, and dressin like a whore Sleepin with the boys for free Guess u could say shes pretty easy But not to worry ?blondie? will come outta this phaze Or wait.. will she?.. probably not.. just look at her face Maybe shes screamin for attention To fill a whole left wide open Just cause mommys got money don?t mean ?beautiful? aint hurtin Lyrics By Becki |
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| Swallow the Knife | ||||||||
| Monday, July 14th, 2003 |
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U only talk to me when there?s no one else talking U only look at me when there?s no one else in sight U only sing to me when there?s no one listening U only hold me when you?ve drawn blood from the fight What?s the problem with this fucked up picture? Why the laughs when u know your wrong? Why pretend that there?s nothin goin? on? Please excuse me for the things I?m wishing for The things I?ve found in you that I seemed to love so much, suddenly faded when I found out you?re a nothin but a fake You lie and tell me how much u appreciate me Later to find that your fucked up words would lead me blindly Now I?ve fallen and I promise never to again I?m leavin? this time if only I could have b4 it came to this end I?m kickin myself wondering why I let it go on this long I?m scratchin at the wounds that wouldn?t have appeared if it weren?t for u I?m finally gonna open up and tell u thru this song How much I love to fuckin hate you You lied you lied, I?ve cried I?ve cried I want nothing more than to change these lies You tried you tried, I stood here waiting by your side I endured the pain and I buried myself alive Lyrics By Becki |
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2 Choked |
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| Monday, July 7th, 2003 |
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laughter spreads, no regrets, boken silence, minutes feel like days panic rushes, stay calm as you can, fear flows, bringing you up to land bobbing, trying to float, a speechless second, feeling num, loosing hope. drowning through eerie thoughts, shocked upon deadly sight, your child life flashes before the light regreting how i treated you, feeling so much guilt turning away fro a single moment realizing how much i truly love you. i help you live one more day, i care so much, please be good, is all i say. Sitting back here thinking of events, dreaming of ways that could have provent dont be scared, please dont cry, when you cry, it feels like tears fall from the skys shaken up, shivering cold, purples lips, "i want to go home" well.. this means alot to me... this i wrote about somethign that happend to my little brother Ivan on the 4th of july.. umm it means alot because on that day.. i had came close to loose my little brother. and then when i read it to him.. he began to cry.. and of course i cried.. and since then.. is like.. i never realyl realized everything that i had from him.. until that one day comes and hes almost gone.. *sigh* later days adriana |
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1 Choked |
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| Sunday, June 22nd, 2003 |
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Memories go back so far. To the years of joy and innnocence through dark rainy days, past the bright hot evenings. to the words we are screaming there lies a day when i'll be 6 feet deep No one around, all so forgotten as soon as my eyes close. Years oast nothing left of me, all is rotten. they all live so happy, can't face the fact. hours go by fast, much time waisted, its most off track. suddenly the gray glasses appear, whispers flow from ear to ear. Sending chills thru the bodys letting go of the hand that leads you, leaving you so alone Detacehd byu armor, blood puddles appear. killed by the one trying to be a leader. A laugh in the distance, could it be? (With lieelte of light, foggy smoke clears) the one they thought they couldnt see. Laying down, 6 feet deep. (by Adriana and becki) |
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| Swallow the Knife | ||||||||
| Saturday, June 21st, 2003 |
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All this shit is makin me tired I slept in late, called my job, i got fired I think that im losing my mind But i guess i cant when theres nothin to find Please call me later, i think im still sleeping cant wake up i'll keep on dreamin im begining to think i like it here i dont have to face reality fear so i dance upon the clouds in my head i think i look quite pretty, i forgot that ur dead i hear that scream just like before i dont think that i can take anymore im running to fast cant face my present, im stuck in the past im trying, to be strong, open thoes eyes again if i see red, it must mean that im dead wake up! i hear yelled in my ear Wake up, there nobody near Open!, those eyes are so clear Whisper, the words i fear HELP!, I dont wanna be here Dont worry the fear isnt here Lyrics By Becki Austin (Me) |
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Inside the Mind Of a Twisted Teen
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lethargic.
anxious.
amused.
cold.
awake.
sad.
cynical.